It’s not something I’ve ever been particularly good with. For example, in our house-purchasing progress, three times before we’ve put contracts on other homes, and three times before they’ve fallen through. The first time it happened, my husband off-handedly told me while we were grocery shopping, and then was appalled when I started crying. *^_^*
I do NOT like to be seen while I’m crying, but tears are my default outlet for intense emotion. >_< So.. yeah.
The last time the contract fell through, my realtor told me about it on the phone. (At least I was home this time.) And of course I started bawling. My realtor is really nice and was trying to cheer me up, but I just wanted to hang up so I could cry and get over it.
See, I’ll be hit really hard with emotion and won’t want to talk about it to anyone for a few days. Talking doesn’t help me process or move on any quicker. I’m incredibly introverted introspective and have deep philosophical talks with myself all the time, so I basically talk myself through things. (Does that sound creepy? Yeah… probably does...)
Today, I’m reminded again just how much it SUCKS to be disappointed. Don’t worry! The contract is still a go on the house. ^_^ We’re getting the loan processed and that looks good so far. *Two thumbs up*
But the potential job I was so excited about…. Pretty much fizzled. :( It’s been downgraded from a Community Manager position (a long-term job) to writing just a few blog posts. The toughest part is that I had so many ideas ready to go, and I really wanted to see them in action!
For now, I’m sipping ginger ale (bad stomach) and telling myself how this is probably for the best. Starting an intense job right before we move would have been rough. And since I’ll still have contact with the company, this doesn’t mean things are over either. It could be that in a few months our respective situations change, and being a CM is a possibility again. Or maybe something else will happen. Who knows?
There is only one certainty in life, and that’s that things rarely happen the way you expect them to. (Which to be honest, makes it really damn hard for dreamers like myself.) I can plan and scheme all I like, but everything can change in the blink of an eye.
Or the stroke of a pen.
Now I’m back to trying to find a consistent job, and this ginger ale is starting to taste kinda funky. >_< Bleh on both counts.
Next posts will be better! I have plans. XD
